England to Me: A Memoir by Hahn Emily

Author:Hahn, Emily [Hahn, Emily]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Open Road Media
Published: 2014-04-01T04:00:00+00:00

Slowly, with longing for the departed night, the little white street woke up. It was still so early that in the valley beneath, where the side of the road dropped abruptly, a light or two still gleamed through mist. The conductor, slinging bags to the top of the bus, looked shadowy at a distance of a few paces. As for Duarte, where he stood at our window saying good-by, he was almost transparent. I felt that we should not leave him there alone. When we drove away he was frail and unreal. I waved back to him, but it was like saying good-by to a dream.

All the little pools in the valley flashed, one after another, and I caught my breath. The Major was silent on the seat beside me, huddled in his coat; all the other people in the bus seemed to be asleep. We headed straight for a low-lying cloud. I was free again. I could slide along the dark green water of my river, or drift high above the pines and the clouds. Yet the memory of the delicate wraith at the roadside held me back, and I did an outrageous thing to the Major: I spoke to him.

“They were charming,” I said.

The Major made an effort, and nodded.

“It’s a pity they’re all so sickly,” I said. Words, words, I reflected as I spoke—how short they fall, what distances remain unbridged! Even with the words at hand, one can’t use them. How could I speak of that tragic ghost, fading away in the dim, pine-laden air of the morning? I didn’t want to.

“So delicate,” I added.

“Darling!” said the Major, arousing himself. “They’re strong as horses.”

I turned all the way around to look at him.

Astonishingly, he went on speaking. He broke all precedent. He made conversation.

“I wonder,” he said, “if Duarte’s seduced Miss Johnson yet. Do you think so? They usually do seduce the governess.”

He sank back into his own world and left me in mine. The bus hurtled along.

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